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What One Billion Views Taught Me About Vulnerability

How a philosopher filmed 1,200 conversations and proved the world hungers for depth

A Founder's Reflection by Alten

In 2014, a filmmaker and philosopher did something radical. He put two people in a room, gave them questions to ask each other, and pressed record. No scripts. No rehearsals. No direction. Just two people asking each other questions they'd been too afraid to ask.

His name is Topaz Adizes. He called the project {THE AND}. And what happened next stunned everyone, including Adizes himself.

The videos went viral. Not just viral—they became a global phenomenon. Millions of people watched complete strangers have deeply intimate conversations. They watched couples confront infidelity. They watched fathers apologize to sons. They watched exes ask the questions that had haunted them for years.

Nearly one billion views later, {THE AND} has become one of the most powerful demonstrations of what I've always believed: that the right question, asked in the right moment, can change everything.

"We all crave connection. But sometimes we need help getting there."

— Topaz Adizes

The Numbers Tell a Story

~1B Total Views
1,200+ Conversations Filmed
2M+ Social Followers
12 Card Deck Editions

The Man Behind the Questions

Topaz Adizes is not who you'd expect to create a viral media empire. He studied philosophy at UC Berkeley and Oxford. He speaks four languages. His father, Ichak Adizes, is a world-renowned management consultant who has advised Fortune 100 companies and governments across 50 countries.

But Topaz wasn't interested in boardrooms. He was interested in something far more complex: the space between people.

In one of their own {THE AND} conversations—yes, Topaz and his father filmed one—they explored Ichak's regrets as a father, how Topaz chose a different path for his own children, and how anger had traveled through their family's generations.

This is what makes {THE AND} extraordinary: Adizes doesn't just create content about vulnerability. He practices it. Publicly. With his own family.

A Timeline of Connection

2014
{THE AND} launches. The concept: two people, facing each other, asking intimate questions.
2015
Emmy Award for "New Approaches to Documentary." Two World Press Photo awards follow.
2017
#HurtBae goes viral on Valentine's Day. 221,000 retweets in a week. The internet breaks.
2019
The Skin Deep expands from video to physical card decks. What started as a documentary becomes a tool anyone can use.
2023
"12 Questions for Love" published—distilling a decade of filmed conversations into 12 essential questions.
2024
12 years later: nearly 1 billion views, 12 card deck editions, and a global community.

The Day the Internet Learned About #HurtBae

On Valentine's Day 2017, The Skin Deep released a seven-minute video. Kourtney sat across from Leonard, her ex-boyfriend. She asked him a simple question: "Why did you cheat on me?"

What followed was raw. Leonard admitted he couldn't count how many times he'd been unfaithful. "I wasn't counting," he said. Kourtney's face—hurt, dignified, searching for understanding—became an instant meme and cultural touchstone.

221K
Retweets in one week
478K
Likes on Twitter
3.4M+
YouTube views in days

The video was covered by BuzzFeed, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, BET, People Magazine, and dozens more. But here's what matters most: millions of people watched because they recognized themselves in that conversation. They'd been Kourtney. Some had been Leonard. The questions weren't just about one couple—they were about all of us.

"In today's info-saturated world, answers are easy to come by—but powerful, connective questions are what we need more than ever."

— Warren Berger, author of "A More Beautiful Question"

What 1,200 Conversations Reveal

1

Questions Create Safe Spaces

When you ask someone a thoughtful question, you're not demanding an answer—you're creating an invitation. You're saying: I want to know you. I'm willing to listen. The question itself becomes a gift.

2

Listening Is Also Vulnerability

We think of vulnerability as speaking—sharing our secrets, our fears, our failures. But Adizes discovered something profound: "Taking feedback without defensiveness is an act of vulnerability." True listening means being willing to be changed by what you hear.

3

Neutral Tools Level the Playing Field

When a boss asks an employee a deep question, the employee wonders why it's being asked. But when both people draw from the same deck of cards? The power dynamic shifts. The format creates safety that the relationship might not naturally provide.

4

The World Is Starving for Depth

Nearly one billion views. That's not an algorithm trick—that's evidence of a profound hunger. In an age of surface-level scrolling, people will stop for ten minutes to watch strangers have real conversations. We crave what we've lost: genuine human connection.

From Videos to Tools: The {THE AND} Collection

What started as a documentary project evolved into a toolkit for connection. Today, The Skin Deep offers 12 different editions—2,388 questions spanning every important relationship in your life:

💑
Couples
💍
Long-Term Couples
💘
Dating
👯
Friends
🤝
Strangers
💼
Coworkers
👨‍👩‍👧‍👦
Family
🧒
Kids
🪞
Self
On Racism
💚
Healing
😄
Amusing

What This Means for FlourishTalk

When I discovered {THE AND}, I felt both validated and humbled. Validated because their success proved what we at FlourishTalk believe: that questions have power, that conversation is transformative, that the world is ready for depth.

Humbled because Topaz Adizes proved it on a scale few imagined possible. A billion views. An Emmy. Videos that made strangers cry and couples reconnect and families heal.

Our Shared Conviction

The Skin Deep has 2,388 questions across 12 editions. FlourishTalk has 23,000+ questions across 37+ categories. Different approaches, same fundamental belief: that the right question, asked at the right moment, can change everything.

We stand on the shoulders of pioneers like Topaz Adizes—and Arthur Aron before him. Each person who proves that conversation matters makes it easier for the next. Each viral video, each Emmy, each person who says "those cards saved my marriage" builds the case that this work is not just nice—it's necessary.

Your Part in This Story

Whether you explore The Skin Deep's powerful card decks or use FlourishTalk's comprehensive question library, the most important step is the same: begin.

One question. One conversation. One moment of genuine connection.

That's how a billion views—and a billion moments of understanding—begin.

With admiration for those who pave the way,
Alten
Founder, FlourishTalk

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