Connection Lab: The Science of Meaningful Conversation
Research-Based Questions That Accelerate Interpersonal Closeness
What Is the Connection Lab?
The Connection Lab brings together groundbreaking research on how conversations create closeness between people. Rather than leaving connection to chance, this collection features scientifically designed questions proven to accelerate intimacy, foster understanding, and transform casual acquaintances into meaningful relationships.
At the heart of the Connection Lab are two pioneering research frameworks that have revolutionized our understanding of how people connect:
💬 The Power of One Question at a Time
Imagine sitting across from someone—a new friend, a romantic interest, or even a long-term partner—and asking: "If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?" One question. One moment of genuine curiosity. One opportunity for real connection.
Deep relationships aren't built through endless small talk or waiting for chemistry to magically appear—they're constructed through intentional, vulnerable conversation. FlourishTalk brings you research-proven questions from Dr. Arthur Aron's famous 36 questions and Dr. Alison Wood Brooks' conversation science, helping you move from surface-level exchanges to genuine intimacy, one thoughtful question at a time.
Arthur Aron's 36 Questions
Psychologist, Stony Brook University & UC Berkeley
In 1997, Dr. Aron developed a laboratory procedure to generate interpersonal closeness between strangers through sustained, escalating, reciprocal, personal self-disclosure. His famous 36 questions are structured in three sets that gradually increase in vulnerability, creating accelerated intimacy in just 45 minutes. The questions went viral in 2015 after a New York Times article titled "To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This"—and research shows pairs who complete them report significantly increased feelings of closeness.
Alison Wood Brooks' Conversation Science
Harvard Business School Professor
Dr. Brooks is a leading expert on the behavioral science of conversation. In her book TALK: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves (2025), she reveals the hidden architecture of our conversations through research on speed dates, sales calls, and thousands of interactions. Her work shows how choosing thoughtful topics, asking genuine questions, and managing conversation flow can dramatically improve the quality of our relationships and our lives.
The Connection Lab includes questions from both researchers' work—from light conversation starters that help you move beyond small talk, to the progressively deeper questions that create lasting bonds.
The Five Question Collections
Each collection serves a specific purpose in building connection. Used together, they provide a complete toolkit for meaningful conversation:
🌱 Aron's 36 Questions: Set I
Getting acquainted through lighter, exploratory questions about preferences, experiences, and values.
12 questions
🌿 Aron's 36 Questions: Set II
Deepening connection through more personal questions about accomplishments, memories, and what matters most.
12 questions
🌳 Aron's 36 Questions: Set III
Creating intimacy through vulnerable sharing about relationships, feelings, and personal challenges.
12 questions
💬 Conversation Starters
Energizing openers that move beyond "How are you?" to spark genuine interest and engagement.
10 questions
🌍 Universal Connections
Versatile questions suitable for anyone—from first meetings to deepening existing relationships.
50 questions
⚠️ Important: How to Use Aron's 36 Questions
The 36 questions are designed to be used sequentially in three sets, with each set becoming more vulnerable. The gradual escalation is essential—jumping directly to Set III would feel jarring and uncomfortable.
Protocol: Both people take turns asking and answering each question. Spend about 15 minutes on each set (45 minutes total). If a question feels too uncomfortable, you can skip it—the goal is connection, not discomfort. Both people should feel willing and ready to be vulnerable.
Who Benefits from the Connection Lab?
Anyone seeking deeper, more meaningful relationships:
- New couples wanting to move beyond surface conversation and build intimacy
- Long-term partners rediscovering curiosity and maintaining connection
- Friends and family going deeper in relationships they value
- Colleagues and teammates building trust and understanding at work
- People making new connections at networking events, meetups, or social gatherings
- Therapists and coaches facilitating meaningful conversations with clients
- Anyone feeling isolated who wants practical tools to connect with others
- Socially anxious individuals who appreciate structured conversation guidance
- Cross-cultural connections where thoughtful questions help bridge differences
Why Connection Through Conversation Matters
The science is clear: quality conversations create quality relationships, and quality relationships are the foundation of wellbeing.
🔬 Research-Backed Benefits
From Aron's research on interpersonal closeness:
- Pairs who completed the 36 questions reported significantly greater closeness than control groups
- The procedure successfully generated feelings of connection between strangers in just 45 minutes
- One pair from the original study later married; countless others have reported similar outcomes
- Cross-race pairs showed reduced prejudice and increased comfort with diversity
- The method works across cultures and contexts—from romantic relationships to friendships to intergroup understanding
From Brooks' conversation research:
- Asking more questions—especially follow-up questions—makes people more likable
- Choosing deeper topics creates more satisfying conversations than small talk
- Good conversations follow a natural flow: breadth before depth, exploring multiple topics before diving deep
- People underestimate how much others enjoy learning about them—most are delighted to be asked
- Even small improvements in conversation skills can significantly enhance relationship quality and professional success
💡 What Makes These Questions Work?
According to the research, effective connection questions:
- Show genuine interest: Asking demonstrates you care about the other person
- Encourage self-disclosure: Questions invite people to reveal something meaningful
- Create reciprocity: Mutual vulnerability fosters closeness
- Build gradually: Starting light and escalating slowly feels natural, not forced
- Foster similarity: Discovering commonalities strengthens bonds
- Enable responsiveness: Answers give you something meaningful to respond to
How FlourishTalk Ignites Meaningful Conversations
Understanding the science is one thing—having the right question at the right moment is another. FlourishTalk transforms research into practical tools for connection:
Start Where You Are: Choose from conversation starters for breaking the ice, or jump straight to Aron's questions if you're ready for deeper connection. Each collection serves different relationship stages and contexts.
Follow the Research Protocol: For Aron's 36 questions, the app guides you through the three sets in order, ensuring the gradual vulnerability escalation that makes them effective. Take turns asking and answering for maximum impact.
Break Free from Small Talk: When you're stuck in weather-and-weekend conversations, FlourishTalk offers hundreds of questions that move naturally into more engaging territory—without feeling forced or awkward.
Adapt to Any Situation: Use individual questions spontaneously in daily conversations, or set aside dedicated time for a full 36-question experience. The questions work in coffee dates, long car rides, video calls, or dinner tables.
Build Conversation Confidence: Having thoughtfully designed questions readily available reduces social anxiety and gives you confidence that you'll have something meaningful to discuss.
Create Rituals of Connection: Make these questions a regular practice—weekly date night questions with your partner, monthly friend check-ins, or team-building exercises at work.
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Start building deeper connections—one question at a time